King Under the Mountain of Insecurity
by glidinggriffin
Summary: Bilbo realised he'd just given an insecure king more insecurities about his ability to rule a, currently, insecure kingdom. And the hobbit then admitted something he'd been careful all his life to never have to say. He was a fool of a Took.


For all the moodiness, grouchiness and general pig-headedness the King of Erebor possessed, the hobbit had to admit, unless under the duress of enemies or the heat of battle, Thorin Oakenshield very rarely raised his voice in rage. Even now, with Bilbo arguing up at him over his treatment of the halfling, Thorin was once again calm with an almost amused air about him. This made Bilbo see red and the dwarf's holier-than-thou attitude and regality was really starting to irk him.

Actually, come to think of it, Thorin technically was holier than everyone else but that didn't mean his behaviour was warranted. And as Bilbo's mother always used to say,

'Manners don't cost anything, you big, brutish oaf! In fact, if you sold all the gold in Erebor, you still wouldn't be able to afford the decency needed to make you into half as good a king as you think you are! Just who would be the halfling then!?'

Bilbo finished with a stomp of his foot and leaned right up into the face of the figure crouched above him in intimidation. He wasn't going to be bullied! No, sir! And maybe he'd edited Belladonna's old saying just a little bit (she certainly wasn't acquainted with a king), but her foolishness was present in the boiling of his blood as he challenged the leader over his continued impoliteness.

To his confusion, Thorin said nothing and just leaned back, but not before Bilbo spotted a hardness deadening the dwarf's eyes and a brief flash of, not hurt, but disappointment. The king stared at the burglar and Bilbo awaited the onslaught he thought was surely to come but Thorin simply bowed his head and turned away towards the rest of the campfire.

Silence.

There was a scurry of movement as the company quickly pretended to not have been listening to the heated conversation between the two. Kili was speaking much too loud to cover the quiet and Bofur started up the next verse of the tune he had been playing on the flute. Bilbo looked to Balin as Thorin walked away to sit near Dwalin to see the older dwarf shaking his head in sadness.

'What did the halfling say? I didn't catch that.' Oin clearly thought he was whispering.

'He told Thorin Oakenshield he wasn't fit to rule! That he was a bad king!' Gloin said loudly into Oin's ear trumpet.

'But Thorin is the reason we're all here. We know he'll be a good king. He gave us good lives in the Blue Mountains.'

'Tell _him_ that!'

Listening in on the two on brothers, Bilbo realised he'd just given an insecure king more insecurities about his ability to rule a, currently, unsecure kingdom. And the hobbit then admitted something he'd been careful all his life to never have to say.

He was a fool of a Took.

The following days were quieter than usual with Thorin only speaking to give directions or orders and walking into the forest alone until the camp began to unpack their bedrolls. The time he was with the company he seemed to spend alternating between looking sorrowful, angry and anywhere but Bilbo. At night he claimed to be 'scouting' but by the pitying looks the other dwarfs sent after him when he announced these words and stalked off, the hobbit wasn't entirely sure if 'scouting' perhaps meant 'brood and mope in self-imposed solitude about the sad duties of a king without a kingdom' in Khuzdul.

Possibly.

Probably.

In any case, Bilbo figured he should fix this, seen as he was the reason it all went to hell. On the third night, he got up and followed the king into the undergrowth until he found him brooding and moping in the last light of dusk.

What a big surprise.

Bilbo swallowed his instinct to slap the dwarf upside the chin and point his head in the direction of the loyal followers he has obtained through his leadership and courageous actions_ after_ Erebor. Instead, he walked over and sat beside Thorin on the stone outcropping he was perched on.

'Thorin, I wanted to apologise for my words the other day. They were brash and harsh and ill-thought of and for that I am sorry. I know we got off on the wrong foot and I thought we'd left that all behind us after I proved myself with Azog, but obviously not. I regret losing my head and I hope you can just ignore me for the rest of this journey because it's too late to go back now.'

Silence.

The king was staring gloomily at the slowly appearing stars. For once, Bilbo wished the dwarf would just lose his own head and scream at him. It would be better than this reservation.

'Thor-'

'Is it?'

'Is it what?' the hobbit asked, confused.

'Is it too late to turn back?' The King's face suddenly morphed into a canvas of conflicting emotions and Bilbo was startled to see the majestic Thorin Oakenshield questioning his most noble cause. As if realising his weakness and who was witnessing it, the dwarf quickly guarded his features with an ugly glare and focused it on the hobbit.

'What is there to apologise for, halfling? You know nothing of what it means to be a king!' he spoke harshly and moved off from his seat. There clearly was something to apologise for and the hobbit would have to take the full force of his anger at his second-guessing himself if need be. Bilbo was not going to let him mope anymore about this issue, so he challenged the dwarf's retreating back.

'King under the Mountain? More like 'King under the Mountain of his Own Insecurities' Listen, if you don't think you're up for this, I'm not following some lunatic across Middle Earth if he doesn't even think you can handle the throne we'll be fighting for. No, thank you! I've risked my life quite enough. I'll inform the others.'

Bilbo hoped down from his own perch sighing angrily but was roughly pushed up against the crag and held up until only his toes touched the ground. He grabbed at Thorin's thick hands uselessly and glared back into the hateful stare drilling holes into his face. The king was so close Bilbo could hear the harsh drag of breath as it was pulled ragged from the dwarf's chest, causing his mouth to froth with rage.

Well, thought the burglar, this is a change from dour silence.

'I. Am King. Of Erebor. And I will take back what rightfully belongs to my people and me. It is mine. Mine to claim, mine to conquer and mine to rule however I see fit!' Spittle flew into Bilbo's face with every declaration. He had to admit he was slightly terrified at the intensity Thorin was directing at his face but he still managed to go on.

'So, you, um, you think it's your right to rule? Based on what, your family line and the good opinion of twelve common dwarves?'

'Not just that!'

'Then what else?! Who's to say anyone who defeats Smaug could become King of Erebor!?'

'That alone does not make them worthy enough!'

Thorin was nearly shouting now and Bilbo was starting to ache with the pressure of being held up. His feet scrambled for purchase as his neck dug painfully into the back of his shirt. Thorin shook him free and pressed him harder into the rock.

'What makes one worthy is caring for his people and ensuring they are happy even when he is not content! A king should protect his kingdom with the same love and attention as his own family! He must be fair and punish those only who need it! He must constantly consider how his actions affect his followers and ride into battle against his foes amongst them! I have done all this and I would continue to do this after I have reclaimed my birth right! After I have reclaimed Erebor! AFTER I HAVE RECLAIMED WHAT I AM WORTHY OF RULING AND PROTECTING!'

Thorin was shaking and heaving breath by the end of this outburst and the hands clutching Bilbo's shirt were coiled so tight around the fabric, he thought it would rip. But the hobbit could not take his eyes off the dwarf's own as they burned with a passion Bilbo had only seen glimpses of briefly during the journey so far. Captivated with awe, the smaller figure replied in a weak, cracked voice.

'Good.'

Thorin released his grip slightly and dropped his gaze to the hobbit's mouth which was busy trying to get some moisture back to its lips.

'I mean, that's more fitting behaviour. Very, um, passionate. And, uh...kingly, I suppose.'

The dwarf was looking down at the hobbit with something that could have been awe, but was more likely confusion, on his own face.

'...Kingly?'

'Yes, well regal would probably be a better term. Or monarchy. Wait, no. That makes no sense,' Bilbo was slowly being let go and righted back onto his feet as he babbled. 'I mean it's not right for a king to be moping about-'

'I wasn't-'

'Over something so ridiculous as if you think you're worthy or not. I mean, of _course_ you're worthy! I knew your importance even before I knew you were a king or even heard of the Lonely Mountain! You just need to let off a little steam and let it all out. It's not like I was just going to come out here and you'd unburden yourself on me with gentle admissions and comforting words!'

Bilbo finished with exasperated gestures and looked up to see the dwarf watching him with crossed arms and an unreadable expression. And, of course.

Silence.

And then a long, uncomfortable pause where he tried to clear his throat under the scrutiny of Thorin Oakenshield.

'Halfling, am I to understand you purposely goaded me into losing control and then challenged my right to the throne to help me get over my supposed 'insecurity' about being king, as you put it?'

Bilbo gulped but stood his ground. 'If you put it that way then...Yes.'

'You didn't think about how dangerous that could be? I could have killed you. I'll admit I rarely get so angry.'

'You needed it. And honestly I think, I think I did too.'

Thorin released a long huff before his face broke into that wry smile that every so often shocked Bilbo with how it completely changed the countenance of the dwarf into something more approachable than the stony King under the Mountain. His large hand slapped down onto the hobbit's shoulder and Bilbo knew this was the apology accepted and thank you all in one. He couldn't help but smile back right up until Thorin spoke again on their way back to the others.

'When I said it was dangerous to challenge a king for his right to the throne, I meant it in more than one way. It my kingdom, that's a call for treason and is punishable by death,' he said with amusement.

Bilbo joked back in a shocked tone 'My King, would you have me killed!?'

The intensity from before returned as Thorin made sure to meet the hobbit's eyes before saying, 'I think I would have you chained up instead and let you beg me for mercy until your throat ran raw.'

Bilbo blushed from the neck all the way to the tips of his ears as Thorin grinned again and moved on ahead into the camp.

He was certain that the king didn't intend for that punishment to sound so lecherous and full of promise. The hobbit cursed his brain for muddling up such thoughts. What kind of Baggins would dream of such things! He father would be rolling in his grave! His mother would almost certainly be winking and laughing mischievously, encouraging him to pursue_ that_ adventure.

Bilbo was always careful to not do things in life that would make him say the old Shire phrase passed on through generations and generations of respectable hobbits. He watched the King of Erebor approach his people and turn around to check his burglar was still following him. Bilbo saw that smile that promised great things illuminated by the campfire and quickly caught up, muttering what sounded like a curse under his breath.

'You're a damn fool of a Took, Bilbo!'


End file.
